The Heirs - Episode 15 (I Can't Do A Thing With My Heir)
Shuk: We are three-quarters of the way through this thing, and we finally see some battle lines drawn. Okay, if you are doing a drinking game based on how many staring scenes are in this episode, your liver will still be in pain. But we get some baby steps forward, and maybe a steely-jaw moment or two from our lead. But for the record, I don't like Young-do with his fangs pulled because of love! [sob]
EPISODE 15
SHUKNOTE: Since Kim Tan has become a possessive fool who just makes everyone's situations worse, and Young-do has actually joined the ranks of humanity, however flawed, I will no longer call either by their monikers "Good" or "Bad". I'm still working on replacements, though. Bear with me.
Shuk: Kissyface at the party.
Actually, kissyforehead. Oh well. Is that what happens when you drink Neon Lime
Gatorade out of champagne glasses? No thank you, gimme the real stuff and let's play tonsil hockey.
cherkell: Argh. Drinking Game commences... about 30 minutes before I started watching this episode. Oh the pain... the pain...
cherkell: Argh. Drinking Game commences... about 30 minutes before I started watching this episode. Oh the pain... the pain...
Shuk: Tempie is angry, but HotelHeir matches her by chastising her
for her stunt. Luckily, since Eun-sang outed herself, he won’t get angry. Thick is behind the eight ball as usual, but
for some reason goes off on a tangent about a chain love letter he sent to
her. Wow, that’s a really roundabout
confession. The Barbie Chorus storms out
of the party, angry that Beanie had the balls to kiss Kim Tan. So they are blind and brainless. Oh, wait, we already knew that. Thick falls
back on the bathroom excuse; our ex-bully just
walks away.
cherkell: Another pointless scene. Moving on.
Shuk: Before she leaves the scene of the (fashion) crime, SuicHeir
bumps into Rachel as he heads towards the venue, but gets a call from Tutorina
which interrupts their convo.
cherkell: "Hang on. I've got to make two girls miserable at once. Will CYRB."
Shuk: Tutorina is angry he blew off the national college exam, but
that only elicits a smile from him. He
clearly attended classes at the Young-do School of Bad Boy Antics, How To Get
Girls To Notice You 101. She tells him his mom is looking for him, but Hyo-shin
will only talk to her, and only if she comes alone.
cherkell: With a class lab on Wrong Ways To Make Girls Jealous held later in the evening.
Shuk: At KiMansion, KiMistress pulls Bean Mom aside and puts her
on spotter duty while she tries to open up the house safe. She about gives up,
until the Silent Wonder Woman pulls a Wooldachi trick and uses graphite to
identify the most-used numbers on the cipher lock. Together they open the lock – great teamwork! These two need their own show, or at least their own flat so
they can bicker and amuse us forever.
cherkell: Amen to that, my sista! I already have a title chosen -- KiMistress and Bean Mom: THEY'RE COPS. Tonight, on NBC!
Shuk: Inside the safe, she finds the surveillance photos of her son and his paramour, and something else
that widens her eyes.
cherkell: It's probably a picture of KimPapa having carnal relations with a goat. That would explain his jackassery ways for sure.
Shuk: At the party, everyone is congratulating SuiHeir on the
test, and he doesn’t disabuse them of their notion. The playful atmosphere is
broken by Rachel. Kim Tan plays interference yet again and she promises it will
go hard for him and his welfare girlfriend.
She’ll make him lose someone important.
cherkell: More important that Beany? What, those butt-ugly speakers in his room? His Bad Sweater Collection? Or dare I say... HIS PRIZED DREAMCATCHER?!? *nooooooo*
Shuk: And with that, she kisses Messed Up Heir. Which is, of course, when Tutorina shows up,
just in time to see him agree and kiss again (for appearance’s sake). The entire time he is staring at his noona
standing shocked at the door.
cherkell: Excuse me for a second. I just threw up a little in my mouth. *blech*
Shuk: BoNa has a tension-destroying hissyfit, and the party breaks
up. Outside, a drunk Beanie staggers down
the sidewalk, followed by an amused Tan. She stops and gives a drunken
confession and grabs his hand in public.
He blows on them to warm them. This
is a good time for a vomit scene, but no, his mom calls instead.
cherkell: And thank goodness for that, because I actually got physically sick after watching the first episode of "Let's Eat." My tummy is hurty, Mommy Shuk!
Shuk: [rubs cher's belly and gives her ginger ale and crackers absentmindedly while watching the first Thor movie]
cherkell: OUCH. But Tannie seems like he's finally hit the ground running in figuring out what trivial details come along with being born the second son of Jeguk Group. He's not as dim a bulb as he was in Episode 1 anymore! *throws confetti*
Shuk: It’s Phys Ed time for Beanie, and the Barbies bully her
almost immediately. She gets saved by Black Knight, wearing the most ridiculous name-dropping sweatshirt that I
have ever seen in a KDrama. He tells the
girls to stop grouping together to bully people. Beanie thanks him, and he good-naturedly
grumbles that his skin is whiter than Kim Tan's, why can’t he be the White
Knight? He gets a genuine smile for
that.
cherkell: I half-expected Woobie to pull out some PPL face cream at this point. (And besides, why hasn't he endorsed a cosmetic brand yet? GET ON THAT, PEOPLE!!!)
cherkell: And thank goodness for that, because I actually got physically sick after watching the first episode of "Let's Eat." My tummy is hurty, Mommy Shuk!
Shuk: [rubs cher's belly and gives her ginger ale and crackers absentmindedly while watching the first Thor movie]
cherkell: OUCH. But Tannie seems like he's finally hit the ground running in figuring out what trivial details come along with being born the second son of Jeguk Group. He's not as dim a bulb as he was in Episode 1 anymore! *throws confetti*
Shuk: Messy and his parents have what seems to be a
heart-to-heart. They agree to let him
study whatever he wants for a year, and the glimmer of hope on his face is
painful to see. They go on to say, since
he has to stay behind a year, and he can take the national exam and go to law
school next year. I pound my head
against the keyboard a few times, down some red ginseng wine, and make the air
blue with my yelling.
cherkell: You are assuming that these two "people" actually HAVE hearts. I imagine an x-ray of their insides being made up like the Operation Game.
Shuk: Hyo-shin takes a deep breath, and tries to get through to
them: Can’t you get angry instead of suffocating me? Dad counters that he has his own dreams for
his disappointing son. Mom plays
peacemaker, but it’s clear she’s on Dad’s side.
The expressions on his face belie his misery, but the parents clearly refuse
to see that.
cherkell: Aw Messy, come here. Noona will take good care of you no matter what you want to do in life. Besides, there's way too many lawyers in the world right now. Take my word for it; plan another career course. Think about it, won't you? Thank you.
Shuk: Kim Tan finds Messy and asks him if he skipped the national
exam just for notoriety’s sake. Hyo-shin
puts on the clownface and jokes about it. They have a cute moment of bromance,
but they both recognize the wounds the other is hiding.
cherkell: Bromance! *squee* *squee* *squee*
Shuk: They walk together for a bit, and she offers to be a
sympathetic ear for him. It clearly
makes him prickly so he makes a final snarky comment and escapes to his window
washing punishment. I guess it’s no fun for him unless he’s jerking her chain.
cherkell: I grew up in an atmosphere like that. If a comment wasn't snarkalicious, then it was not worth speaking. But still, isn't it getting kinda old now?
Shuk: Both knights
are side by side, when GumiHeir and BadDad are escorted into the school. Oh, crap, they both know about the fight in
school. It was KiMom, who spills everything,
including their class ranking.
cherkell: Crappity crap crap crap. This surely will not end well, will it?
Shuk: The reaction of
Young-do’s dad? With his son’s IQ, he
should do better, but at least he’s beaten Kim Tan for the first time. Young-do blinks a couple of times. Yep, maybe you should have tried academic success
before brawn a long long time ago.
cherkell: Lamest Retort EVER. Bad Daddy is just hiding his anger until they get off camera.
Shuk: GumiHeir is
upset that Tan is dead last in school, but his dongsaeng is just happy to see
him, and thanks him with a smile before walking away.
cherkell: And a slight squee left my lips in seeing Tan's puppy-dog antics. More of that to brighten my day, please!
Shuk: KiMistress and
Tempie’s mom meet, and KiMistress is eager to talk about the engagement. She is ready to end it, but Esther is clearly
uninterested in talking to the mistress when the engagement should be discussed
with the real wife and official mother.
That gets KiMistress’s back up, and she slides over an envelope like the
one in the safe. Ooh, it’s the pic of TempieMom and Teddy Bear Ahjussi liplocking in the hallway! And, just like
that, the engagement is off.
cherkell: Now that was a eye-opener! I didn't think KiMistress had the bandwidth to pull the ol' blackmail route. Maybe she learned the fine art by watching KimPapa's machinations? Regardless, kudos to her!
Shuk: In class,
Tutorina is handing out small group literature assignment for 2 to 4 people per
group. Baby and Stringy asked Beanie to
join their team, as the two rivals look on.
cherkell: LOL it's almost like being picked last for a pick-up baseball team. "There's no crying in Reading Assignments!!!" *snort*
Shuk: And next we
appear to have a 3-person team of KimTan, the Black Knight, and Beanie. She can’t get a straight answer from either
as to how this group was created, but she wastes no time in taking charge. And it’s clear she has their number. She makes them both share an video version of
the book and contribute something to the project once it’s finished.
cherkell: Cute cute cute cute CUTE! (Whoops, a momentary digression there. We now return you to our regularly-scheduled snark, already in progress... )
Shuk: So naturally
they drink their MangoSix PPL smoothies while watching her the entire time. Hee.
They both attempt to jump to her defense against an unhappy customer, but she
sits them back down with just a glare.
cherkell: Dang it, that location has been bugging me for the longest time. I must have walked by it a half-dozen times roaming around Gangnam-gu. It's definitely not the one used in Shark or AGD, though. Maybe Daechi-dong? *off to check Seoul maps*
Shuk: A short time
later, two flunkies show up for Kim Tam from his dad. Young-do half-heartedly offers his services
to rough them up. As soon as he walks
out, Beanie tells the manager she’s knocking off early and heads over to
Young-do, who already knows what’s coming. He gives her a bit of grief, but
grumpily agrees to give her a ride to KiMansion. She owes him one, though.
cherkell: Oh honey, just stop it now. Poor Baddy is already PW'd by you; do you have to rip the bandage off as well?
Shuk: At the Kim Horror House. KimDad is beyond angry that
the engagement has been cancelled and all presents returned. KiMistress admits it was her doing, but
PapaWheelie doesn’t care; he’s worried Jeguk Group will be a laughingstock
among companies. Kim Tan doesn’t care;
rumors will make the company stocks change, and Dad can use it to get even
richer.
cherkell: And only in Korea would a change in corporate family structure be for the better unlike here in the States, which would call for a massive selling-off spree. Everybody funny.
Shuk: Dad looks like
he’s going to pop a vein in his head as he tries to poke his son with his
cane. His mom stops it, and Tan loses it
when he hears his mom call his dad “Chairman”.
Is he Boss at home too, instead of a father or a companion? KimDad puts him under house arrest, including
no school.
cherkell: YES! Now that's a KDrama I would pay good money to watch -- the Korean version of "Scanners"!
Shuk: In his room,
Mom berates him for losing his temper.
He asks her if she really had the engagement cancelled. She smiles and said yes, she wanted to do
what he wanted, and she was happy that she acted like his mom for the first
time. They share a great moment before
she chirps for him to call her when he’s hungry.
cherkell: Aw. But as I said earlier, this is not going to end well for anyone. Least of which, those like me who don't give a flying flip about 9/10ths of these characters.
cherkell: Aw. But as I said earlier, this is not going to end well for anyone. Least of which, those like me who don't give a flying flip about 9/10ths of these characters.
Shuk: At the Tempermental Home, Rachel is having a meltdown
in front of her mom, that degenerates into a gripe about the rancorous divorce
from her father. She cries that at
least, she had feelings for Kim Tan, and tells her mom not to interfere in her
life, or use her as a pawn for the company.
Poor Rachel, she’s just unlucky all the way around.
cherkell: Waaaaaah such a rough life. Here's the World's Smallest Violin, playing "My Heart Bleeds For You."
Shuk: The motorcycle
arrives just as it begins snowing.
Beanie had been gripping Blacky’s jacket, and he hides the effect it had
on him by snarking that she might lose fingers from frostbite since she didn’t
use his pockets. She knows it’s a bluff,
though. At the entrance to KiMansion she
is surprised to see guards, and Young-do comments that this is the part of a
book where the father/son become enemies and fight man to man. She promises to repay him for the ride, and
he muses out of earshot that she doesn't even know what favor he will ask her.
cherkell: Better break out your Winter Leathers, Baddy... or that's not the only part of your body that may suffer some frostbite, if you catch my drift.
Shuk: Beanie quickly
makes her way to her room, and her mom confirms that the youngest is locked in
his room. She texts him to see if he is
okay, which the Chairman reads. He’s
with KiMistress, KiMom and Teddy Bear Ahjussi.
cherkell: All sitting there looking as if they're waiting for their death sentences from The Warden. *awkward*
Shuk: He gives
everyone tasks: KiMom to find and secure the most suitable bride for GumiHeir,
and she’s off the family registration if she uses her shares to stop Kim
Won. KiMistress is to control her son or
be kicked out. Chief Yoon is to stop any
rumors of Kim Tan’s illegitimacy from spreading from RS International (Esther’s
company); make sure all extra shares are signed over the Chairman, and submit
his resignation. Yoon is the only one to make eye contact.
cherkell: [insert massive amounts of swear words in 7 different languages here]
Shuk: KimDad goes on to Yoon: Since he was one of the
Chairman’s employees and yet allowed to stay with the company, then he is
probably in cahoots with Kim Won. Teddy
Bear mildly protests that he’s not on either side of this battle but the
Chairman says that’s the reason. He is
now tasked to bring Tan into Jeguk Group, and possibly his resignation won’t be
processed. Can we have Amber Eyes come
back from WAML and push his wheelchair-driven ass down an embankment? Pretty please? No? [pout]
cherkell: If that asshole doesn't end up in a mental institution or stone-dead by the Finale's time-jump, I will eat my laptop. Yes, that's how much I hate that character.
Shuk: At the Teddy
Bear cave, he tells Baby Heir what happened today, stating that by not taking
anyone’s side, he ended up without any allies.
Baby Heir doesn’t really understand, but he cheers his dad’s failure.
cherkell: Poor dumb dope. Cute as a button... but Baby is still Number 1 ranked in their class with that deductive reasoning? *headsmack*
Shuk: Kim Tan is
pacing his room. Mom is worried he won’t eat, but all he wants to do is mope
around. Too bad, I think that’s the best
sweater I've seen in 15 episodes.
Celebrate, boy, celebrate!
cherkell: Yes, please eat! I can see your ribs through those bulky sweaters!
Shuk: School is
Tan-less, and Beanie confides in Blacky that he must be terrified in his locked
room. Young-do asks her why is saying
anything to him? Just because he likes
her? Are they friends or something? She looks sad as he walks away. Yeah, girl, you totally picked the wrong
horse on this one, and now you are stuck with an ultra-possessive non-fashionista.
Shuk: We have a standoff at the KiMansion. Tan is dressed and ready for school, but the
goons won’t let him out. Dad walks out, tells the employees it’s okay to hurt
his son as long as he keeps breathing, and to force him back to his bedroom.
cherkell: ♬ Life's a bitch... and then you knit. Nothin' you can do about it... ♬♬
cherkell: Urge to kill... rising... Tannie, you're just too complacent! When will we see the day when you rise up against the Oppressive Machine?
cherkell: When Tannie eventually stops with the Hero Worship, angels will sing and the heavens will open saying WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!?
cherkell: When Tannie eventually stops with the Hero Worship, angels will sing and the heavens will open saying WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!?
Shuk: Everyone is
whispering when Beanie sits in the hotseat across from Blacky in the
cafeteria. He tries to chase her off,
but it’s about as effective as chasing a mosquito. He asks her to have some fear of him, but the
conversation is halted by the viral spreading of the news that Kim Tan is illegitimate. In a low voice, Young-do asks Eun-sang how
many guards there were outside KiMansion.
Ooh, is he gonna spring his frenemy?
Or will they hug in clandestine romance?? Will we finally see a throbbing scepter of kingly passion???
cherkell: I pick all of the above. I'm a greedy little bitch.
Shuk: PapaWheelie fumes
as the news reaches him, and all parties: KiMom, GumiHeir, TempiMom, etc.,
start speculating how this news can be used.
cherkell: Oh just melt into the ground already. Or have lightning strike his wheelchair. Either way, it's all good.
cherkell: Oh just melt into the ground already. Or have lightning strike his wheelchair. Either way, it's all good.
Shuk: A very yummy Zeus Hotel Heir shows up dressed up in
houndstooth and minions to KiMansion to see his classmate so they can work on
their literature assignment. KimPapa is
impressed with the young man's dedication and gives his permission.
cherkell: Bullshit Meter just pegged at 11, sir!
Shuk: Needless to
say, our captive prince is surprised to see such a well-dressed person in his room, especially given his Bazooka-Joe
cable knit. The two boys chat, and
Young-do explains that fathers and sons have fought since the beginning of
time. Blacky tosses Tan his phone to
show him that his birth secret has been exposed to the public, but that he was now a major stockholder in
Jeguk Group. Blacky wonders aloud how he
can get more dirt on Tan, since he can’t use that skeleton anymore. Tan isn't really listening; he wants
out. They trade barbs before agreeing to
a plan.
cherkell: Blackadder: "I've got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!"
Shuk: Young-do walks
down the stairs in his motorcycle helmet.
KimGoons give chase, but the figure makes it through to the
ZeusMinions. West Side Story begins, as
the two sides dance in the courtyard.
Meanwhile, Kim Tan (ah so that’s the REAL Young-do in the motorcycle helmet!) runs out a side
door and hops the brick wall like he was a City Hunter or something. I hope he put a spoon in his pocket just in
case it’s needed.
cherkell: When you're a Jeguk, you're a Jeguk all the way... from your first bloodless coup to your last takeover play...
cherkell: When you're a Jeguk, you're a Jeguk all the way... from your first bloodless coup to your last takeover play...
Shuk: And I have to
say it: YOUNG-DO IS DAEBAK! From the shit-eating grin to the aegeo about his
helmet hair, he is just adorbs in this scene!!
cherkell: Totally agreed. The little side jokes and small instances of meta are what's keeping me from completely drifting off into Boredom Land.
Shuk: Tan’s first
love will always be his hyung. He
beelines straight to his office; his brother looks less than happy to see
him. He quickly begs him to listen and
trust him, but GumiHeir cuts him off.
Honesty doesn’t move people, money does.
And since they now both hold equal shares, there can’t be trust between
them. Tan promises to not go against
him, if he only lets him stay, but Won only wants him to drop off those shares,
and shake his little butt back to America.
Geez, not this same convo again.
cherkell: Lather, rinse, repeat. I got nothin'.
Shuk: Tan feels the
same as I do, and finally realizes that his brother can only sing one
song. He asks him not to throw him away
again, but Won is inflexible. You can
almost hear Tan’s heart crack in two as he turns away from his brother and
throws down the gauntlet. You want these
shares? Then yank them out of his hands!
cherkell: FINALLY a show of some cojones! Let's see how long that lasts, though. We still have five more episodes to plow through...
cherkell: FINALLY a show of some cojones! Let's see how long that lasts, though. We still have five more episodes to plow through...
Shuk: PapaWheelie has
Beany cornered in his Office of Bad Karma, and gives her two options. She walks out of the office with an almost
horrified expression just as Kim Tan walks in with KimGoons behind him. They stare at each other (hey what’s an
episode without at least 24½ stares?), then walk past each other, pausing to
briefly entwine fingers before going in opposite directions.
Shuk: Now it’s Tan in
front of PapaWheelie, and he mentions
that the son is locked up, but the Jeguk Empire heir became an major stockholder. Papa proudly says it’s an early birthday
present, since Tan is his son. Tan
counters that he is no longer a son, but hyung’s enemy, in spite of his
attempts to keep the family peace by going his own way. KimDad counters that there always needs to be
a spare pup to bark at the heels of the one in front of him. That is his usefulness to his father and his
family’s business. Tears well up in Tan’s eyes – to always wonder if someone
will betray you, is that the kind of peace Dad wants? Apparently so, as PapaWheelie’s expression
looks more and more like Jabba the Hutt, all gooey and self-satisfied.
Shuk: Tan’s expression
hardens as he goes on to say that, thanks to his father’s machinations, he has
lost his entire family, both real and the one he wanted to have. Dad title drops about heavy crowns.
cherkell: More like "Uneasy Lies The Head that Wears The Crown." Nice try KimPapa; you've just now channeled your inner Henry the Fourth?
Shuk: In the next scene, we see Beany slowly climbing the
steps to the second floor as we hear PapaTheHutt’s words:
“If you break up with Tan immediately, I’ll let you go, to any province (in Korea), America, England, France, wherever you want. But if you feel you can't break up with him even if you die, then there is another choice you have. I'll give you half a month. You can meet Tan all you want during that time, but after the time is up and you break up with him, you'll go where I send you. It won't be Korea, America, England, or France, but a very different place.”
Shuk: We know what idiot decision she makes, since there is no resistance from the KimGoons. Tan is brooding in his room when he opens the door to a knock. And there she is, his Bean Princess with a shushing smile and sparkling eyes!
cherkell: Is Beany drunk again? Yeah, that's it. She knocked back a bottle of KiMistress's prized wine before climbing the stairs. Smart girl.. I think I'll do the same. *hic*
cherkell: Is Beany drunk again? Yeah, that's it. She knocked back a bottle of KiMistress's prized wine before climbing the stairs. Smart girl.. I think I'll do the same. *hic*
FINAL THOUGHTS
Shuk: I just cannot fathom Papa The Hutt's thought process, but I can gather that, having fought long and hard for the controlling position of the family business, he can't help but think that everyone will trample on his tiniest weakness. What he fails to realize is that you reap what you sow, and having sons battle it out is not the best way to fortify your lineage's hold. Apoplexy, amnesia, or an aneurysm, could you choose one and put us all out of our misery?
cherkell: I still believe that this Show could have been laid out properly in 16 episodes maximum. There's so much going around and around and around and staring and.... ARGH. The corporate intrigue should have ramped up much more quickly than finally being laid bare in Episode 15. And the cardboard cutouts comprising the characters is grating, to say the least. If anything, we finally get to see more of Kang Ha-neul's wonderful acting as his story gets to see some light of day. KiMistress and Bean Mom's covert 'Mission Improbably' activities made me snort out my Mocha Soy Latte. And the BabyBona Duo are mostly there for comic relief, but I don't mind because *someone* has to do it. But the rest of these kids' First World Problems? Could have been fleshed out in fewer substantive vignettes. Five more to go... five more to go... *sigh*
cherkell: I still believe that this Show could have been laid out properly in 16 episodes maximum. There's so much going around and around and around and staring and.... ARGH. The corporate intrigue should have ramped up much more quickly than finally being laid bare in Episode 15. And the cardboard cutouts comprising the characters is grating, to say the least. If anything, we finally get to see more of Kang Ha-neul's wonderful acting as his story gets to see some light of day. KiMistress and Bean Mom's covert 'Mission Improbably' activities made me snort out my Mocha Soy Latte. And the BabyBona Duo are mostly there for comic relief, but I don't mind because *someone* has to do it. But the rest of these kids' First World Problems? Could have been fleshed out in fewer substantive vignettes. Five more to go... five more to go... *sigh*
Shuk: I'm a little disappointed (translation: A LOT) in how one dimensional Kim Won is. He has all the personality of a Dalek screaming "EXTERMINAAATE!" at his brother, with only tiny tiny flashes of other emotions, mostly in the presence of Tutorina. She was probably right in choosing job over love; after all, didn't he do the same, to her and to his half-brother? The writers did him a great disservice in not giving us more insight into his motivations. Oh, well, they could make it up with at least one broody shower scene, I think. Without hideous-colored fashionable bathrobes, please.
cherkell: With some vegetable oil and a halo of light surrounding them? Now THAT's a drama I could sink my teeth into. I'll have my people call your people and get it green-lighted for the Spring 2014 season! *maniacal grin*
cherkell: With some vegetable oil and a halo of light surrounding them? Now THAT's a drama I could sink my teeth into. I'll have my people call your people and get it green-lighted for the Spring 2014 season! *maniacal grin*